Nights in Racine
Sharing passion for music
Making sweet love
The man of my dreams
Was he sent from above?
This love scared me, caught me off guard
It was so pure, so real, so strong
I thought it must be too good to be true
I had hoped and waited so long
So I ran from my feelings
But couldn’t stay away
Never had I imagined
That he would stray
I gave him my heart
He betrayed my trust
I didn’t want it to end
But knew it must
I can’t let go of the memories
Wishing things had not ended
But I tried to not hurt
I smiled and pretended
The pain was so deep
Will I ever heal?
I want him back
But could it ever be real?
After my heart
Has been so broken
What can regain trust?
What words can be spoken?
I will always love
The man of my dreams
And never forget
My nights in Racine
Making sweet love
The man of my dreams
Was he sent from above?
This love scared me, caught me off guard
It was so pure, so real, so strong
I thought it must be too good to be true
I had hoped and waited so long
So I ran from my feelings
But couldn’t stay away
Never had I imagined
That he would stray
I gave him my heart
He betrayed my trust
I didn’t want it to end
But knew it must
I can’t let go of the memories
Wishing things had not ended
But I tried to not hurt
I smiled and pretended
The pain was so deep
Will I ever heal?
I want him back
But could it ever be real?
After my heart
Has been so broken
What can regain trust?
What words can be spoken?
I will always love
The man of my dreams
And never forget
My nights in Racine
Lonliness
I've found a new kind of loneliness I never knew before
I sit in the silence staring at the door
Hoping it would open and in he'd walk,
Gently my hand he would take
And point at the wall to the clock
Whispering "it was a nightmare, now you're awake"
He would hold me in his arms so tight
And kiss me the way that feels just right
Our love would grow we would be happy and free
But sadly, that's not how it ended for me
I woke up to find the dream was real
All my hopes and dreams were a done deal
I sit in the silence staring at the door
Hoping it would open and in he'd walk,
Gently my hand he would take
And point at the wall to the clock
Whispering "it was a nightmare, now you're awake"
He would hold me in his arms so tight
And kiss me the way that feels just right
Our love would grow we would be happy and free
But sadly, that's not how it ended for me
I woke up to find the dream was real
All my hopes and dreams were a done deal
If Drew Was True
I thought I had found it
The elusive "true love" I had searched for
Refusing to believe all men put sex before love and could not resist the temptation of getting laid
I should have known better,
They are all the same
So what's a woman to do?
Accept the inevitable, that any man she loves will lie, cheat and hide secrets?
No
There are good men out there
I know many of them - they are all faithfully married
I will never give up
I am a prize, a gem, a rare delight....and I will find the man worthy of me
In the meantime
Hurt
Tears
Anger
Fears
Why? Oh WHY? It was going to be different....
The elusive "true love" I had searched for
Refusing to believe all men put sex before love and could not resist the temptation of getting laid
I should have known better,
They are all the same
So what's a woman to do?
Accept the inevitable, that any man she loves will lie, cheat and hide secrets?
No
There are good men out there
I know many of them - they are all faithfully married
I will never give up
I am a prize, a gem, a rare delight....and I will find the man worthy of me
In the meantime
Hurt
Tears
Anger
Fears
Why? Oh WHY? It was going to be different....
My Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there was a beautiful young woman with flowing golden hair and big green eyes. She also had a lovely smile, but it was elusive. The young woman's heart was directly connected to her smile and often times it was sad so few experineced the lovely smile.
Many men pursued the young woman and she let some close enough to see her smile, but in the end her smile would fade and she would move on.
One day she met the Man of Her Dreams. Her smile was sincere, her heart full of love and laughter and joy. Her eyes bright and full of passion and love.
She woke up one morning, whistling a tune, happy in her heart, and then her world collapsed around her. The breath was sucked from her lungs, she felt suspended in time for one horrifying moment as she realized that she had been WRONG about the Man of Her Dreams.
He was just another man. The type that thought nothing of honor or integrity but only of fulfilling his own lustful desires and relieving his own pain at the expense of others.
The young woman is no longer young, her smile is no longer lovely, her eyes no longer shine. Her fairy tale was simply that.
Many men pursued the young woman and she let some close enough to see her smile, but in the end her smile would fade and she would move on.
One day she met the Man of Her Dreams. Her smile was sincere, her heart full of love and laughter and joy. Her eyes bright and full of passion and love.
She woke up one morning, whistling a tune, happy in her heart, and then her world collapsed around her. The breath was sucked from her lungs, she felt suspended in time for one horrifying moment as she realized that she had been WRONG about the Man of Her Dreams.
He was just another man. The type that thought nothing of honor or integrity but only of fulfilling his own lustful desires and relieving his own pain at the expense of others.
The young woman is no longer young, her smile is no longer lovely, her eyes no longer shine. Her fairy tale was simply that.
This is Love
UPDATE: I GAVE HIM MY HEART AND HE BROKE IT
The poem in my mind is stuck
The words are all there, but jumbled and flowing
I can see them
I can feel them
But I can't grasp them to fashion them into something meaningful
There is a reason for this
For once
In my life
I am experiencing real, intimate, mutual, passionate, committed LOVE
The words won't come out to land on paper because they live inside me now
They are part of me
They aren't some fleeting fancy that inspires something that rhymes
Or expresses my angst, my aching heart, my anger
The words aren't about infatuation or lust
No, this is Love
The words are no longer words
They are real
They are part of me
They are my emotions being lived out in actions and expressions of love
Wow
I am surprised at how calm I feel - the fear is minimal, the doubt is non existent
Holy Cow!
I have never felt this way before!
This is amazing!
I love him so much, so very much
I never want to take this love for granted
I want to nurture it like a delicate plant, caring for it so it will continue to thrive and grow
This is not a poem is it?
Sorry, Drew, my love....I can't seem to write a poem for or about you
But please understand why...
Because my poems aren't for Love
They are for pain, for silly emotions
For you I have something else -
My heart.
The poem in my mind is stuck
The words are all there, but jumbled and flowing
I can see them
I can feel them
But I can't grasp them to fashion them into something meaningful
There is a reason for this
For once
In my life
I am experiencing real, intimate, mutual, passionate, committed LOVE
The words won't come out to land on paper because they live inside me now
They are part of me
They aren't some fleeting fancy that inspires something that rhymes
Or expresses my angst, my aching heart, my anger
The words aren't about infatuation or lust
No, this is Love
The words are no longer words
They are real
They are part of me
They are my emotions being lived out in actions and expressions of love
Wow
I am surprised at how calm I feel - the fear is minimal, the doubt is non existent
Holy Cow!
I have never felt this way before!
This is amazing!
I love him so much, so very much
I never want to take this love for granted
I want to nurture it like a delicate plant, caring for it so it will continue to thrive and grow
This is not a poem is it?
Sorry, Drew, my love....I can't seem to write a poem for or about you
But please understand why...
Because my poems aren't for Love
They are for pain, for silly emotions
For you I have something else -
My heart.
I wish I was an artist
I wish I were an artist, I'd draw his haunting face.
Those deep brown eyes that melt my heart and touch my soul.
The full lips that sneer with sensuality, and mock my vulnerability.
His big, gentle hands that I long to caress my face.
I’d capture his arrogance, his handsomeness, his intelligence…
His spirituality would be hard to sketch, an aura that’s invisible but so present.
Is he evil? Is he good?
Why does he have this affect on me?
So unlike my sensibility
Against my discernment…yet willingly
I listen to his voice…deep, intriguing , masculine
If I could put his face, his hands, his essence, on paper,
Perhaps I could finally erase him from my mind.
His stare could no longer affect me in my dreams.
He would have no longer have a hold on my heart and my desires.
My longings for him would cease to create passion and sadness.
Would he be smiling smile in my drawing?
That would be rare indeed.
I believe he would have a piercing look.
His eyes smoldering in arrogance.
A smirk upon his sexy lips.
Perhaps I am an artist....
I believe I just drew him with my words.
I feel a sense of freedom.
Less in need to reconcile my feelings.
The pain is subsiding…finally.
Those deep brown eyes that melt my heart and touch my soul.
The full lips that sneer with sensuality, and mock my vulnerability.
His big, gentle hands that I long to caress my face.
I’d capture his arrogance, his handsomeness, his intelligence…
His spirituality would be hard to sketch, an aura that’s invisible but so present.
Is he evil? Is he good?
Why does he have this affect on me?
So unlike my sensibility
Against my discernment…yet willingly
I listen to his voice…deep, intriguing , masculine
If I could put his face, his hands, his essence, on paper,
Perhaps I could finally erase him from my mind.
His stare could no longer affect me in my dreams.
He would have no longer have a hold on my heart and my desires.
My longings for him would cease to create passion and sadness.
Would he be smiling smile in my drawing?
That would be rare indeed.
I believe he would have a piercing look.
His eyes smoldering in arrogance.
A smirk upon his sexy lips.
Perhaps I am an artist....
I believe I just drew him with my words.
I feel a sense of freedom.
Less in need to reconcile my feelings.
The pain is subsiding…finally.
Simple Pleasures
I see an elderly couple holding hands
I hear child laughing with glee
I smell pine trees mingled with fresh air
I taste warm buttered bread
I feel the love in your embrace
I hear child laughing with glee
I smell pine trees mingled with fresh air
I taste warm buttered bread
I feel the love in your embrace
This is the me I want you to see
This is the me I want you to see
Pretty, happy and carefree
The real me is four years older
Not much wiser but a whole lot bolder
I’m learning to open up about my life
The pain, mistakes and strife
Over the years I have known many trials
Lived with more heartache than smiles
But I find that when I open up and am real
It allows me the opportunity to grow and to heal
I gain so much by sharing my story
My desire that it will bring God glory
Thanks for joining me on the way
To serenity, hope and a bright new day
Pretty, happy and carefree
The real me is four years older
Not much wiser but a whole lot bolder
I’m learning to open up about my life
The pain, mistakes and strife
Over the years I have known many trials
Lived with more heartache than smiles
But I find that when I open up and am real
It allows me the opportunity to grow and to heal
I gain so much by sharing my story
My desire that it will bring God glory
Thanks for joining me on the way
To serenity, hope and a bright new day
Give me your kiss
Darling, give me your kiss
Reach out and take my hand
Lead me down the road of bliss
Bring me to the promised land
will finish later
Reach out and take my hand
Lead me down the road of bliss
Bring me to the promised land
will finish later
Him
He filled a void that is left painfully hollow
Like a prince on a stallion he rode into my life
His beauty and brawn overwhelmed me
He swept me off my feet and made me his muse
Hours upon hours we made love with our words
He taught me how to write down low
He brought my level of passion up high
Then deceit and lies eroded the romance
The mystery became unraveled
Jealousy and control consumed him
The damage caused was beyond repair
I sent him riding back into the sunset
Reality is settling in - its surprisingly warm
Its not cold and misty like a damp fog
I feel embraced by unconditional love
Scales have dropped from my eyes
Heavy chains around my heart unlocked
Waiting for a prince is child's play
My true love has never left me
Although I challenged his allegiance
He never wavered in the battle for my heart
He is my Samurai Warrior
He is kind, wise and strong
Valiantly his patience endured
Unwavering in his commitment
His prize awaits him humbly
Longing for his reassurance
I give myself completely to him
I no longer hold back a single particle of self
Openly I offer myself wholly to him
Take me, keep me, romance me
I belong to you
Like a prince on a stallion he rode into my life
His beauty and brawn overwhelmed me
He swept me off my feet and made me his muse
Hours upon hours we made love with our words
He taught me how to write down low
He brought my level of passion up high
Then deceit and lies eroded the romance
The mystery became unraveled
Jealousy and control consumed him
The damage caused was beyond repair
I sent him riding back into the sunset
Reality is settling in - its surprisingly warm
Its not cold and misty like a damp fog
I feel embraced by unconditional love
Scales have dropped from my eyes
Heavy chains around my heart unlocked
Waiting for a prince is child's play
My true love has never left me
Although I challenged his allegiance
He never wavered in the battle for my heart
He is my Samurai Warrior
He is kind, wise and strong
Valiantly his patience endured
Unwavering in his commitment
His prize awaits him humbly
Longing for his reassurance
I give myself completely to him
I no longer hold back a single particle of self
Openly I offer myself wholly to him
Take me, keep me, romance me
I belong to you
His Eyes
His eyes look into my soul
He sees things no one has ever noticed
He seems to know me at a level
that I didn't even know myself
His lips say things that no one has ever said to me
He encourages me to be true to be creative without fear
His open hands hold my heart
He will never hurt me
He's my friend.
He is my lover.
He sees things no one has ever noticed
He seems to know me at a level
that I didn't even know myself
His lips say things that no one has ever said to me
He encourages me to be true to be creative without fear
His open hands hold my heart
He will never hurt me
He's my friend.
He is my lover.
Gray Day
the sun is shining bright today
but inside my depression colors it gray
i am worn out, tired and weary
i feel empty, alone and dreary
will there ever be come a day
that I don't so often feel this way?
i have so much to be thankful for
why is it that I always want more?
i have love, but I want romance
i long to laugh and sing and dance
it seems the only excitement i can find
is lived within my imaginative mind
but life is not suppose to be fun
that's what I hear from everyone
so i feel down and lonely and sad
disappointed in myself, utterly mad
i don't know contentment or joy
unless i'm being pursued by some boy?
i want things to be like they were before
when i had so many men at my door
its an addiction they say "you have to submit"
and I guess I haven't cause i feel like shit
i have a man who is good and true
why can't i just be happy, not blue
i make myself sick when I look in the mirror
because its so obvious, it couldn’t be clearer
a girl that though sex and love were the same
who ended up living most of her life in shame
so i sit inside on a sunny day
sleeping and crying my time away
but inside my depression colors it gray
i am worn out, tired and weary
i feel empty, alone and dreary
will there ever be come a day
that I don't so often feel this way?
i have so much to be thankful for
why is it that I always want more?
i have love, but I want romance
i long to laugh and sing and dance
it seems the only excitement i can find
is lived within my imaginative mind
but life is not suppose to be fun
that's what I hear from everyone
so i feel down and lonely and sad
disappointed in myself, utterly mad
i don't know contentment or joy
unless i'm being pursued by some boy?
i want things to be like they were before
when i had so many men at my door
its an addiction they say "you have to submit"
and I guess I haven't cause i feel like shit
i have a man who is good and true
why can't i just be happy, not blue
i make myself sick when I look in the mirror
because its so obvious, it couldn’t be clearer
a girl that though sex and love were the same
who ended up living most of her life in shame
so i sit inside on a sunny day
sleeping and crying my time away
he will never understand me
i am feelings - i am words - i am art
he thinks - he does - he's logic
i would rather die alone
than die in complacency
he thinks - he does - he's logic
i would rather die alone
than die in complacency
To King, My Muse
I wish I were an artist, I'd draw his haunting face.
Those dark violet eyes that melt my heart and touch my soul.
The lips, full of sensuality, yet asking for an innocent kiss.
His soft gentle hands that I long to caress my face.
I’d capture his uniqueness, his handsomeness, his intelligence…
His personality would be hard to sketch, so extraordinaire and complex.
Why does he have this affect on me?
So unlike my sensibility.
Against my discernment…yet willingly...I fell in love with him.
I read his words and am transported to another time and place.
I am captivated by his stories and touched by his memories.
If I could put his face, his hands, his essence, on paper,
Perhaps he would not haunt me day and night.
His stare could no longer affect me in my dreams.
He would have no longer have a hold on my heart and my desires.
My longings for him would cease to create passion and sadness.
But also the joy, the erotic desire and love he provokes in me would die.
He invited the little girl in me out to play.
The woman in me to unleash her lust.
Would he be smiling in my drawing?
Would there be a tear in his eye?
How can I draw the devotion I feel toward him?
How do I describe something I have never felt before?
I would rather die than live without knowing him this way.
I wasn't even alive before he found me.
I want to create a lasting piece of art, a portrait fit for a King.
That forever will adorn the canvas in my heart and never fade.
I can't end this poem...I can't because I don't want it to ever end
Those dark violet eyes that melt my heart and touch my soul.
The lips, full of sensuality, yet asking for an innocent kiss.
His soft gentle hands that I long to caress my face.
I’d capture his uniqueness, his handsomeness, his intelligence…
His personality would be hard to sketch, so extraordinaire and complex.
Why does he have this affect on me?
So unlike my sensibility.
Against my discernment…yet willingly...I fell in love with him.
I read his words and am transported to another time and place.
I am captivated by his stories and touched by his memories.
If I could put his face, his hands, his essence, on paper,
Perhaps he would not haunt me day and night.
His stare could no longer affect me in my dreams.
He would have no longer have a hold on my heart and my desires.
My longings for him would cease to create passion and sadness.
But also the joy, the erotic desire and love he provokes in me would die.
He invited the little girl in me out to play.
The woman in me to unleash her lust.
Would he be smiling in my drawing?
Would there be a tear in his eye?
How can I draw the devotion I feel toward him?
How do I describe something I have never felt before?
I would rather die than live without knowing him this way.
I wasn't even alive before he found me.
I want to create a lasting piece of art, a portrait fit for a King.
That forever will adorn the canvas in my heart and never fade.
I can't end this poem...I can't because I don't want it to ever end
Suicide Dreams
A silver knife, razor sharp.
Beautiful handle, carved with flowers
Take the tip
Slowly drag it across the inside of wrist
A pretty thin red line appears
It hurts in a good way
Repeat process other wrist
Sit and wait
Dream of the end
The room gets cold
But thoughts are warm
Pain is going to end forever
Why was I ever born?
My legacy is death
Life is not worth the loneliness
Of having no one understand
People say “get better”
“Be Strong”
“Work the 12 Steps”
“Grow up”
“Take these pills, they’ll help”
“Get your head out of the clouds”
“You are beyond hope….”
Fuck yes I am beyond hope
I just want to die
NO one gets it
I will go out in a dramatic flair
My family and friends
Will cry and say
“I never thought she’d really do it”
I told you fools all my life
No one cared enough to find out
If I meant it or not
Well guess what?
I did
The Dream
It was only a dream but I know I was there
I could smell the scent of the ocean spray
The whitewash of the waves was caressing you
I watched your muscles strain as you swam against the tide
The warmth of the sun was on my back
Waves splashed me as you swam through them
The water was clinging to the hair on your arms and legs
Your red cotton underwear hugging your body
I never saw your face - but I knew it was you
You were happy, you were breaking free
I was there watching you but I wasn’t with you
It was a beautiful and powerful dream
I could smell the scent of the ocean spray
The whitewash of the waves was caressing you
I watched your muscles strain as you swam against the tide
The warmth of the sun was on my back
Waves splashed me as you swam through them
The water was clinging to the hair on your arms and legs
Your red cotton underwear hugging your body
I never saw your face - but I knew it was you
You were happy, you were breaking free
I was there watching you but I wasn’t with you
It was a beautiful and powerful dream
More of you
i look up in your face to see the raw desire
my legs wrapped around your waist
your sweat drips onto my breasts
we move as one
the perfect rhythm for the perfect lovers
I feel you so deep inside me
i am floating three inches off the bed
your hoarse, raspy groans
my gasping, carnal cries
there is no time, no space
only two entwined lovers
reaching the heights of oblivion
pleasures never before known
untamed lust
wild abandonment
my legs wrapped around your waist
your sweat drips onto my breasts
we move as one
the perfect rhythm for the perfect lovers
I feel you so deep inside me
i am floating three inches off the bed
your hoarse, raspy groans
my gasping, carnal cries
there is no time, no space
only two entwined lovers
reaching the heights of oblivion
pleasures never before known
untamed lust
wild abandonment
My Prison
My prison has now walls,
Yet, I can’t seem to leave
Escape is out of reach
My prison is dark, empty and cold
The air chills my bones
Foreboding thoughts fill my mind
At times panic sets in
But mostly, grief and woe
When visitors are allowed in the prison
They often ask, “what keeps you here?”
Nothing keeps me here
But nothing waits for me outside
Life is dismal, bitter and lonely
In my prison I can guard my heart
The outside world cannot penetrate
Only I control the ache and the pain I feel
It is my punishment to myself
It is my sentence
My burden to bear
Though I have committed no crime
This prison is my home
My prison is called depression
It fills every space in my mind
It runs through my veins
It curses me and oppresses me
My fear of death keeps me alive
But am I really living?
I endure the torment
Hurting those I love is not an option
I do know love
I believe in love
But love evades me
Who would enter this prison to find me?
What would he find if he did?
A fragile heart that longs for love?
A passionate woman that needs to be held??
A little girl that wants to play?
A loyal friend with a kind word?
A bruised and broken body that needs to be healed
A soul that is dry and will die without nourishment
A deep and strong desire to be understood
Oh Please!
Please take a step inside my prison
Please find me here and set me free
I promise to reward you
I promise to be all that you’ll ever need…all you will ever need
Yet, I can’t seem to leave
Escape is out of reach
My prison is dark, empty and cold
The air chills my bones
Foreboding thoughts fill my mind
At times panic sets in
But mostly, grief and woe
When visitors are allowed in the prison
They often ask, “what keeps you here?”
Nothing keeps me here
But nothing waits for me outside
Life is dismal, bitter and lonely
In my prison I can guard my heart
The outside world cannot penetrate
Only I control the ache and the pain I feel
It is my punishment to myself
It is my sentence
My burden to bear
Though I have committed no crime
This prison is my home
My prison is called depression
It fills every space in my mind
It runs through my veins
It curses me and oppresses me
My fear of death keeps me alive
But am I really living?
I endure the torment
Hurting those I love is not an option
I do know love
I believe in love
But love evades me
Who would enter this prison to find me?
What would he find if he did?
A fragile heart that longs for love?
A passionate woman that needs to be held??
A little girl that wants to play?
A loyal friend with a kind word?
A bruised and broken body that needs to be healed
A soul that is dry and will die without nourishment
A deep and strong desire to be understood
Oh Please!
Please take a step inside my prison
Please find me here and set me free
I promise to reward you
I promise to be all that you’ll ever need…all you will ever need
The Pit
I am in a pit looking up at the sky
How do I crawl out?
The sky is usually filled with dark clouds, hovering above me
Occasionally, the sun breaks through – when I hear the voice of my lover
But then, he is gone.
The clouds return.
And once again I am down in my pit staring up at gray clouds.
I know the way out of the pit….
But it has become my home.
I feel comfortable here, even though it’s cold, lonely and sad.
I wait for the sunshine to break through.
It comes…and goes.
I try to tell myself that I can survive in the pit.
Vague memories of living out of the pit remind me that solid ground is not much better.
Choices I don’t want to make
Stay in the pit waiting for sunshine
Or reach up for help and crawl out
What to do?
How do I crawl out?
The sky is usually filled with dark clouds, hovering above me
Occasionally, the sun breaks through – when I hear the voice of my lover
But then, he is gone.
The clouds return.
And once again I am down in my pit staring up at gray clouds.
I know the way out of the pit….
But it has become my home.
I feel comfortable here, even though it’s cold, lonely and sad.
I wait for the sunshine to break through.
It comes…and goes.
I try to tell myself that I can survive in the pit.
Vague memories of living out of the pit remind me that solid ground is not much better.
Choices I don’t want to make
Stay in the pit waiting for sunshine
Or reach up for help and crawl out
What to do?
The Ride
Thank you for the ride
The high of the peaks
The dips and the turns
Never once an even pace
Or a straight line
Always up or down
Wild or serene
Fast or stopped
But then, you pulled over
You let me out
I didn't want to go
I needed the rush
I lived for the thrill
Each ride made me want more
It was our carnival, just for us
You never told me
This ride was not meant for two
I thought we were in it alone here
I didn't know it was open to anyone
Any girl or boy willing to pay
Could join you in your games
Now I see an empty lot
Where the carnival stood
It was there for months
Just one ride after another
The Tunnel of Love
The House of Mirrors
The Freak Show
Now like a used up ticket,
Stepped on and dirty
Worthless and used
I lie on the empty grounds
Of the carnival
That was us
You don't look back
You're off to the next place
The next silly girl
Who believes in carnival dreams
Which to you are jokes and games
The high of the peaks
The dips and the turns
Never once an even pace
Or a straight line
Always up or down
Wild or serene
Fast or stopped
But then, you pulled over
You let me out
I didn't want to go
I needed the rush
I lived for the thrill
Each ride made me want more
It was our carnival, just for us
You never told me
This ride was not meant for two
I thought we were in it alone here
I didn't know it was open to anyone
Any girl or boy willing to pay
Could join you in your games
Now I see an empty lot
Where the carnival stood
It was there for months
Just one ride after another
The Tunnel of Love
The House of Mirrors
The Freak Show
Now like a used up ticket,
Stepped on and dirty
Worthless and used
I lie on the empty grounds
Of the carnival
That was us
You don't look back
You're off to the next place
The next silly girl
Who believes in carnival dreams
Which to you are jokes and games
Warm
Warm, inviting, sensual
I hold you in my arms
Brush your cheek with my fingertips
Kiss the sides of your neck
Run my fingers through you hair
Cold, unwelcoming, austere
Let my love into your life
Allow me to let you feel
Sensations you have never known
Pleasure awaits you at my touch
I hold you in my arms
Brush your cheek with my fingertips
Kiss the sides of your neck
Run my fingers through you hair
Cold, unwelcoming, austere
Let my love into your life
Allow me to let you feel
Sensations you have never known
Pleasure awaits you at my touch
His Lips
Dark pink full lips
Slight smile, very slight
Velvet soft against my neck
Moist and luscious
I love the taste
I need the touch
Slight smile, very slight
Velvet soft against my neck
Moist and luscious
I love the taste
I need the touch
Dead
Totally and completely alone. Not one shoulder to cry on. Can I turn to the One who claims to comfort? Why is He not enough? I've alienated everyone from my life. Hurt them, angered them, used up their patience. I've done this to myself like the slow drag of the blade across my wrist. Very carefully monitoring how deep it will go - will I let it injure, or kill? I was never meant for this world. Born defective, too many raw emotions like ruptured nerve endings. Pain. Sharp, excruciatingly, indeterminable and unstoppable. Others shake their heads and don't understand. Heroin owns its victims as loneliness owns me. I can be in a room full of people or in the back alley - I'm still alone. They pay for head I pay for hugs, I'm still alone. Words mean nothing. They lead you along but you know they are empty and fake. You choose to keep walking the plank till you get to the end and plunge. The sharks have been circling. Let them devour me - at least it’s not obvious, did I slip or did I jump? Blood in the water, shreds of flesh and bone. What's left of a sensitive soul. They laugh at the red stained spot where the sharks have fed. She asked for it. She always was a bit off, a bit too needy, a bit too sensitive and way too willing to give herself away. Hundreds of times over an over again begging for love exchanging the tangible for nothing more than whispers in the dark. Waking to cold damp sheets. Never giving up. Using her only commodity till the well ran dry. Looking for the living water. Why wasn't it enough? Change was suppose to happen. A new creation - what about the butterfly emerging from the caterpillar? What about the cross and the forgiveness of sin? What about that One Man who was suppose to save them all? If only this were a dream with an end. If only tomorrow would never come. To wake up in peace. Feel hope warm me like a blanket right out of the dryer. Clean and soft. Nurturing. Ripped, oily rags covered with dirt. Cardboard boxes for shelter. Empty syringe, broken glass, trash. Just let me go back to where I belong. I understand the vacant stares of empty minds. Pain is mingled with survival but no one feels a thing. It all just drifts away. The cold hard cement. The urine scented hallway. The whimpering cries of the slaves. It's all the same. A lonely cold existence in a falsely warm world.
Mike
You were on the East, I'm out West
It was obvious that it might not best
To open my life and my heart
When we lived so many miles apart
You charmed me with your smile and touch
Your meaningful words affected me so much
I was ecstatic to be with you for our hotel stays,
As we made passionate love for days
Our time together felt like a fairy tale
Compared to you, all others pale
You were, you are, my one true love
You appeared to be a gift from above
Until the day that the flowers were sent
And I realized what they meant
You no longer wanted me in your life
Because you were fearful of your wife
You fed me so full of your lies
But did I actually realize,
From the start it wasn’t right
You never let me call at night
Was I naïve or simply in denial?
Was I that desperate for a smile?
That I fell prey to a cheating man
Who broke my heart, and then he ran
It’s been several years and I’m no longer sad
Now I am just disgusted and mad
The lesson is learned and won’t be repeated
I was the victim of a man who cheated
It was obvious that it might not best
To open my life and my heart
When we lived so many miles apart
You charmed me with your smile and touch
Your meaningful words affected me so much
I was ecstatic to be with you for our hotel stays,
As we made passionate love for days
Our time together felt like a fairy tale
Compared to you, all others pale
You were, you are, my one true love
You appeared to be a gift from above
Until the day that the flowers were sent
And I realized what they meant
You no longer wanted me in your life
Because you were fearful of your wife
You fed me so full of your lies
But did I actually realize,
From the start it wasn’t right
You never let me call at night
Was I naïve or simply in denial?
Was I that desperate for a smile?
That I fell prey to a cheating man
Who broke my heart, and then he ran
It’s been several years and I’m no longer sad
Now I am just disgusted and mad
The lesson is learned and won’t be repeated
I was the victim of a man who cheated
